Community for Herpes Dating and Support in Canada



It is true that there is no cure for herpes but that doesn’t imply it’s end of your life! it is just one of the disease that one of every six Americans have and by adopting simple changes to your lifestyle and attitude, it can be easier for you to cope with it! Herpes are annoying and painful too but not scary as you can shape your means of living in a brand new manner. When you get to know that you are suffering from it, it might come as a striking blow but the reality lies in accepting and living with it happily. This post is to help you in accepting this harsh reality and dealing with it in peaceful manner. The stanzas might be unrelated but all of them are enriched with guidelines to improve your lifestyle. You might be the one who is suffering from herpes or the one who has a partner suffering from it. In both the scenarios, you need to take a bold step.

Dating with herpes (Internal links)

Guidelines-for-living-with-herpes Now since you know that you have herpes, does it mean that you are out of dating game? If you are single and no longer with the partner from whom you got this disease, this means you have all the avenues open for looking for love and fun out there. It’s just that you might have to be extra cautious about when to break the news. You should not be so candid that you just blurt it out on the first meet. Some things should be left for appropriate moment. Obviously, it is up to you to decide when to disclose this but you should keep two things in mind! Don’t wait until having your first sex with him/her to tell you this and also don’t wait until the time you are about to have sex. This is because the first scenario doesn’t give him/her a fair chance of having protected sex and in the second scenario, the attraction might be too strong that wither of you might not think rationally or responsibly. So use your judgement before telling as you don’t want to hurt someone who has grown attachment towards you! But always keep your self-respect as having herpes is not the end of the world and doesn’t deprive you of the respect and honour you deserve. Hence, if someone humiliates you for having this virus then he/she is never worth your while!

Reducing the risk

Using a condom will definitely help you in having protected sex but some honesty also helps! If you have got herpes from one of your partners then you can understand the pain of being betrayed. You obviously don’t want to pass that on! So it is perfectly fine to just let your partner know that you are dealing with it. After disclosing this fact, if you are still in relationship with him/her then it is your prime duty to decrease the risk for him/her. During intercourse, the risk involved is always high so using latex condoms can help. Also, try to abstain from sex when symptoms are present. If your partner is aware about your virus, be open with your condition and at the time sores are present don’t go for sex. This way you can reduce the risk of transmitting any virus to your partner. Be honest about it as there is nothing to hide and feel ashamed of. 20% of people are suffering from this disease and you are just one of the special lot! If your partner really loves you and is truly crazy about you, he/she will understand and makes the most of those days when you are absolutely ready to rock the bed!

What to do if your partner has herpes?

The above two stanzas in this post provide guidelines if you are dealing with herpes! But this portion is to ask you to step into the shoes of other person who is very dear to you but have herpes. It is obviously a personal choice but abandoning someone just because he (let’s assume you are ‘she’ here) is having herpes is not a humanitarian approach. He needs support and acceptance at this stage of life and if he must have taken lot of courage to tell you which means that he cares for your trust and longs for your love. Good deeds should not be punished and hence if you have feelings, concern and love for your partner then don’t let herpes be the spoil spot. It is ok to express your discomfort in having sex in initial phase and taking time in absorbing and accepting. You may start reading about posts as to how to reduce the risk, educate yourself and read about treatments which can help him in coming out of the painful phase. People also jump to the conclusion that their partner is cheating on them and hence got herpes. But take a second and talk to him about it, he might be infected with it from years but the symptoms were never so painful! Or worst, if he got it from you as you never knew you are dealing with genital herpes. Hence, it is necessary to give it a thought, talk to your partner and decide future course of action.

How to get rid of symptoms naturally?

Guidelines-for-living-with-herpes If you or your partner is suffering from herpes then making some lifestyle changes and being cautious during the days of active breakouts can help in boosting your immune system. Educate yourself, consult doctors and adopt a healthy lifestyle which will eventually decrease the risk of passing on herpes to someone else! Include oranges, red vegetables like carrots, tomatoes as they are rich in anti-oxidants in your diet. Also, fish, turkey, legumes, chicken are rich in protein and amino acids which help the healing process of the body. Zinc is another element which is very helpful in healing all these sores and also protects the body from infections. To increase intake of zinc in your body, you should consume organic meats, pumpkin seeds, spinach and grass-fed beef. Along with these, you should also keep in mind that there are some foods which can make your herpes (Internal links) worse by raising inflammation and skin irritation. So avoid extra added sugars which are present in packaged drinks and snacks and flavoured products like yogurt, cereals and granola bars. Processed foods, junk items and hydrogenated oils along with alcohol, tobacco and other drugs can weaken immune system. During the time of active outbreaks, avoid food items which contain citrus like oranges, tomatoes and lemon (you can have them in normal routine) as they contain acid which might increase the burning. Prefer foods prepared out of wheat and chocolate! Also, consult your physician and adopt some antiviral herbal supplements, balms, oils to decrease irritation. Take special care of your genitals during this phase by using natural and mild soaps.

How to tell your partner?

Here comes the toughest part of this post and that is why we have placed it at last! We assume by this time (if you have read the entire post and have not jumped to the bottom directly) you must have understood that suffering from herpes is not the end of your life. There are many people who do suffer from this; there are many dating sites which are solely made for people like you and there are people out there who are ready to accept you for what you are! But the toughest part (it takes lot and lot of courage) is to tell your partner about your disease. On one hand, you are thinking about the risk of losing him and on other side you don’t want to hide from him and continue having sexual intercourse. Honesty and trust are the foundation of any relationship and thus you should not hide even a bit of it from your partner. Be casual, direct and unemotional while giving this news to him. Don’t present it in a manner which might create panic in him, rather be calm, hold his hand and disclose. But before you do it, make sure you learn as much as you can about this disease. Be wise with your word usage and don’t describe it something which is horrible or disgusting. Just pick up the right time, spot and medium (texting or phoning are not the right mediums, tell him in person) to let him know. Let the topic come up naturally in the conversation. The worst time to disclose this news are after having sex, during foreplay or when your clothes are already off! So don’t do it at that time!


So keep living your life, keep dating and having fun. There are lot of websites dedicated towards herpes dating (Internal links) and you may enrol on those to find a partner who understands what you are going through. Kissing and cuddling don’t transmit any sort of disease so you can decide on the intimacy level you want to share with your partner! But one of all these people will definitely come around and say that, “Hey listen, I know it’s a risk but I think it is worth taking because it is with you! I am really crazy about you!” it’s not the end of your life so don’t give up!